Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Fullyshick eh bro...

Found this in my inbox...

After the race between My Cousins VL vs My Brothers Friends VL we pulled up at Muzzatech Performance in Coburg and we see Con there. Because I'm such good friends with Con I yell "Yalla Re how u go Bro" Con didn't answer me maybe he didn't see me.....because I'm such good friends with him he shoulda recognized me.

So me and Spiro park our 6 second VL in a disabled parking spot cause Spiro is on workers comp and hurt his back lifting bricks. So we go inside to Con and ask "Do you sell da boost bro" Con goes Na bro but I got a VX GTS 300kw.

Then Spiro goes V8's are shiit re...my cousins Skyline will rip it up. So we tell Spiros cousin to come down and have a race down Nicholson St.....he says the tram track give better traction for dragging.

I know from my uncle that the Holden GTS is the fastest car that Holden has built its got 300kw so it can beat Ferraris cause its a V8 with 300kw and that it can beat all the Jap cars cause they only got 206kw....the GTS has 300kw so its much much faster and also the car has more than 300kw cause con fitted a exhaust so its got more like 450kw but con doesn't like to brag about how good his exhaust is.

Soon Spiro's mate Habib rocks up with the R33. It has over 1000HP using stock internals. Habibs R33 is the 3.3 Liter version. The R32 only came with a 3.2 liter and the R34 a 3.4liter. That's why they are called R32-R34. Habib has run a 8 second pass using his G-Tech timer which is really accurate cause we recalibrated it for the altitude here on Bell St. He has stroked his to 5.0 liter and put a home made BOV on to control boost with. He also used 20 head gaskets stacked on top of each other to lower the comp ratio to 3.0-1. Even with his truck turbo and cooler he says it spools by 2000rpm Phwooaarr Sik Re it sounds like its mad. Habib has the number plates JETJET747 on his skyline cause it's the fastest Skyline in da world and deserves those plates. Our connection at the Vic Roads got us 9 letter number-plates. If use want des plates u have to speak to Mario from Vic Roads he can hook u up wif da plates.

So we go to Nicholson St and cause my uncle is friends with da cops they will let us drag all the time....mate its cause we got so many connections. So Con has his family in the back of the VX and also his trailer cause V8's got so much torque they can drag race up hill with trailer and family in da back and still beat Jap cars.

Yassu Re so the lights go green and Con stalls his GTS up to 7000rpm and launches at 8000rpm cause he has a Cop chip he can do this. The car does a Fullshick burnout and Habib puts his Skyline in drive and goes after him.....because Habib's Skyline is so powerful it just wheel-spins until 4th gear.......this means it's a really powerful car and really quick. Cars that can't do burnouts are slow cause if u race someone and they cant do a burnout on launch that means they are very slow.

Wallah back to the race because we are not stupid we race on the tram tracks because its safer than anywhere else and its safe enough to reach 300kmph. Both cars are now going 140kmph and we haven't even changed into 2nd gear yet.... PWOARRR these cars are fast. Re.......we are a little bit behind Cons car and I say "Eh bro u gotta beat him quick put in more boost" So Habib puts his boost to 5-BAR which is pretty safe cause he has a Truck cooler. We start to catch Con and are neck to neck....&^%#! re this was getting close. By this stage we were doing 200kmph and if Habib lost I would have to bash him so I could impress Con and get him to work on my VL for free at mates rates

Soon we hit 300kmph and by that stage we are winning...den my cousin calls me on da new Nokia phone. I tell him we are racing and he says he'll meet us at da finish line near Metro.

Den I see da finish line and we are just in front and we beat on.....then we stop but der is a corner ahead..."sh1t re" I yell. We stop in time but con doesn't luckily his Holden GTS has FE2 suspension and he was able to take that corner at 150kpmh like the car was on rails.

After we stop outside metro and see Con. He said his diff was playing up and he missed a gear otherwise he woulda beat us cause his is a 10 sec car. Also if he had a Monsta tacho he could of beaten us more easily. Dat race was sik though and cause we were such good racers we have been offered a job to teach the V8 Supercar drivers how to race properly.

So we go drive round da CBD and dis hot b1tch see Habibs Skyline so I yell "Hey bitch get in da car" This pickup line worked so I rooted her in da back of da skyline an then had to drop her off cause I had to go visit my nonna in time for dinner.


Did you hear that Schapelle's old beauty salon is shut at present? There is a sign on the door saying 'Back in 20'.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Damn Schapelle... Still...

Miranda Devine of the SMH has had her say on the Schapelle Corby saga. It isn't because she has an opinion on the former-beauty students' troubles in Bali, nearly everyone does, but her thoughts on the matter produced a quizzical look on my face.

The opinion piece is full of strangeness all the way through but there are a few notable passages that deserve to be highlighted.

Schapelle's Princess Diana-like popularity in Australia is seemingly unstoppable.

Huh? Where did Miranda pull this from? In my opinion there wasn't too many people who wanted Princess Diana to be thrown in gaol, but on the other hand I know a fair few people who thought that the hype and sensationalism over Schapelle was proof that she was guilty and deserved to be put in gaol for drug trafficking.

The Australian public has seen what Corby's defence team saw long ago: a transcendent grace that makes her guilt implausible. Her strength of character, not to mention the careful styling and stunning good looks, improved in recent months by jail-time weight loss, have bolstered her claim she is innocent and that corrupt baggage handlers planted the drugs in her boogie board bag.

Another clanger... How the hell do you link the fact that she is seems graceful, seemingly good looking (although, I don't see it) and seemingly been improved by her malnourishment in a Bali gaol to the fact she is innocent? Since when did someone's looks surpass the need for evidence.

The drugs were in her bag and were technically in her possession. The evidence of bag tampering by the baggage handlers was complete hearsay and probably wouldn't have even been allowed to be admitted in an Australian court.

And then there are the claims of corruption in the Indonesian legal system. If there was any fact to these claims, I would love to hear about it. And with the attention that this case has attracted, keeping the back room deals behind closed doors would be quite hard. Anyway, if her defence team did their job properly, she wouldn't be in a Bali gaol today...

And still more is the claims that Abu Bakar Bashir only got 2.5 years for his part in the Bali bombings. What short memories people have... After the Bali bombing both the US and Australia pushed Indonesia into creating a whole stack of anti-terrorism laws that would apply to anyone found to be part of the Bali bombings, even though Indonesia already had existing laws that were adequate. When Bashir was convicted under these new laws and his subsequent appeal, the Indonesian Supreme Court found that the anti-terrorism laws did not apply and those charges were forced to be dropped. What he was left with was a few very minor conspiracy charges, thus the 2.5 years.

I don't give a shit about Schapelle in particular, what annoys me is that there are 150 other Australians in gaol in Indonesia on drug charges. Why didn't these people get the same sort of attention? And will the Bali 9 get the same sort of attention that Schapelle has received? At present I am sad to say that they never will because they aren't caucasian, female and supposedly good looking.

If Schapelle looked like this, would she receive the same attention?

Insights into our feline acquaintances...

Scott Kurtz provides another usefull insight into those evil feline creatures...

Friday, May 27, 2005

New Public Holiday?

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to you to propose the addition of a new public holiday to our calendar. I call it 'Corby Day', in commemoration of Schapelle Corby and her brave fight.

Although her brave fight may be ultimately unsuccessful (TBA 10AM WST), Schapelle will enter her Bali jail with a sense of pride that she is joining celebrities, the likes of which include Abu Bakar Bashir, and who can forget that funny little man, Amrozi.

That'll teach her for taking Aussie grown drugs away from Aussie kids...

Yours Sincerely

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Jesus and file sharing...

After reading this article on the Sutherland Shire Christian School. The year 12 bible reading class asked themselves what would Jesus do about file-sharing.

The students ended up applying Exodus 20:15 to the issue and decided that file-sharing is stealing and thus wrong.

It all makes sense I guess... until you consider Mark 6:41 where he took five loaves and two fishes and fed five thousand men. How could he do that without copying the food he had? Did he have any consideration for damage he was doing to the baking and fishing industries?

Any thoughts?

Monday, May 23, 2005

What will they think of next?

I think I saw an ad for the strangest thing on TV tonight... Sorbent Personal Toilet Wipes... They are like 'Wet Ones' for your arse.

Wouldn't you like to have been a fly on the wall in that product meeting?

I wonder when Dick Smith bring out his version, if he got away with calling his matches 'Dick heads' then he could get away with calling these 'Dick Wipes'.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Dean Herridge on the Busselton Super Special Stage Posted by Hello

Neil Bates' Toyota Corolla Posted by Hello

Dean Herridge going hard on Brockman 1. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Not long ago we had the Cornelia Rau 'affair', then came details that Cornelia was only one of 33 Australian citizens wrongfully held in detention by the immigration department in only 7 months between July 2003 and February 2004.

As more details of the 33 come out, it has been revealed that Vivian Alvarez, born in the Phillipines but is now an Australian citizen, was deported to her place of birth 4 years ago and hasn't been heard from since. The Australian government says it is doing everything in their power to find her but Interpol says otherwise. The deportation left behind her 2 children who are now in foster care until their mother is found.

Something must be seriously wrong with our immigration policy if people are deported from their country of official residence. It also is fairly damning of medical services for the mentally as both Cornelia Rau and Vivian Alvarez were sufferers of mental illnesses.

The inquiry that is in progress to investigate the Cornelia Rau case is a start towards a finding out what went wrong, but the inquiry is being held behind closed doors. What is the immigration department trying to hide I wonder? Are they worried that more details like the 32 others that have been held wrongfully? Are they worried that the public may find out that the current immigration policy is truly wrong and dehumanises people seeking asylum?

Listening to
Hack on Triple J this afternoon (Real audio or Windows media streams of the program are avalable), an independent research group has found out that a majority of the 33 wrongfully held by the immigration department were not Australian born, had poor english skills and were non-white. The 33 were held between July 2003 and February 2004. In the last 10 years since Tampa, which precipitated the major change in Australian immigration policy, how many more Australian have been held in detention?

There are some serious questions that need answering by Amanda Vanstone. Of course, John Howard was probably never informed by his ministers and advisors just like every other incidents that might damage his position. Speaking of which, the number of times 'Honest John' has used the 'I was not told' excuse really seems absurd. How can someone who is supposed to be running the country and takes responsibility for all the good things doesn't know about the bad things?

World's Best Divorce Letter

I don't know how to preface this in any way other than to say it is quite funny.

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'm never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'm tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she'snot hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is.

Love, Dan

Recruitment Agency Information Gathering


Someone tell me why a recruitment mob would want to get, and possibly distribute, the following information:
  • racial or ethnic origin;
  • political opinion;
  • membership of a political association or religious beliefs, affiliations or philosophical beliefs;
  • sexual preferences or practices;

These things should have no bearing on whether you get the job or not. The following sentence is a little worrying, the term 'in most cases' leaves them to do whatever they want.

Sensitive information can, in most cases, only be disclosed with your consent.

Thursday, May 05, 2005


For those of you that haven't seen Calvin in a while... here he is. As you can see he is growing quite quickly.

Over the last few months he has started...
  • ...recognising pictures of himself
  • ...using mirrors to see how to make expressions
  • ...calling 'Da-da' when looking for me around the house
  • ...standing without assistance and 'dancing' when watching Hi-5 songs
  • ...blowing through things. He currently likes blowing a recorder
  • ...stacking lego blocks together
  • ...pointing at objects not in his reach that he wants
  • ...using a spoon to feed himself. A big mess usually results but he is getting better
  • ...using his toothbrush on his own. He brushes his teeth sort of

Road Rage: The Positives

I witnessed a road rage event yesterday afternoon. The 'rager' was unceremoniously cut off by the 'ragee', who neglected to use and indicator and tried to squeeze into a gap that a smart fortwo wouldn't fit into.

At the next set of lights, the 'rager' alighted from his vehicle and went and vented at the 'ragee'. I could not hear what was being said but it was being said in a very emphatic way going by the veins in the guy's forehead. No physical violence was dealt out but there was a bit of finger pointing and gesticulating.

At the time I thought the 'ragee' might not have deserved it, but after the lights went green and he drove off down the road, he was driving in a more controlled way. This got me thinking about the positives of road rage. If everyone was scared of being yelled at or punched they might actually start to think about what they do behind the wheel of their car.

Of course, actions resulting in physical harm or forcing people off the road isn't a good thing, but making the morons think about what they are doing could be a very Good Thing(tm).

FYI the 'rager' was driving a Charade and the 'ragee' was in a VT Commodore.